come clean

I knw i knw, Me like to turn big big rounds before i get to the point tht i need to delivery.
but somethings when i dont wish to deliver and i am forced to say. Me will go super directly.


I really got nothing to blog ! I cannot be only writing "anything" right ?

But, Something popped out of my mind, JUST ONLY.

since its alrdy 27th dec 2009, last few days left before we welcome the 2010.

LETS' RECAP! ho bo ?

2009 hasnt been a great year for the poor old me, sadly ):
Infect, i hate this year alot.


January, kicked started with a boyfriend named Stanley, in my memories, he was a nice guy but eventually not. & i dont have to emphasis, everyone knws tht the economic just collapse.
& Olvl year, I started out quite forcus in my studies. And of cos, nagging from teachers and parents started out energetically.

February, CYN, it was the worst CYN, i ever encounter for the past 17 years of my life. & I first time saw my father fight and my grandmother screamed in tears. plus, blah blah.. whole lot of family dramas. & thing with Stanley are ... okok.. satisfying.

March, broke up with stanley, then went on with Oak, everybody, -.- him. everyone, _|_ him. I have nothing to say.. but u knw... i dont bother, i needed accompany and thts it.. My days with him, started out not bad. & I watched my sis cried for love for the very first time. Im heartache, but somewhat happy to see her really getting mature.

Apirl, SYF competition and studies making me freaking juggling. And things between me and oak was fine. BB is still always there for me.

May, SYF results turning me real on! A GOLD award, very satisfying u knw. I broke with with Oak & i wanna emphasis, tht is ME who dump him. Im not sad, im just happy tht i made the right decision. I tot it was time for me to really start hardcore mugging.

June, I chopped off my dead ends, I celebrated my sis birthday without parents. Crazy over a korean show, boys over flowers. I think, most guilty thing, I screwed up other people's relationship.

July, My birthday, touching having 33 friends over there :) Then with no shame and regret I had Alan back. I was so damn freaking crazy about him, depressingly.

And how serious, is your "seriously"?

August, wondering having a relationship at this critical moment is a bad timing? Tuitions and tuitions flooded my entire timetable. I was so willing to PIA for my upcoming olvl. At the same time still very crazy about bf. & watching Awesome broke up into 5 different pieces was a blow.

Fcuk, it aint suppose to be like tht! I wasn't suppose to love deeper.

September, study every single day for prelims. Visiting different friends house, just to get study done. Nette and I became real close friends and drifting me apart from Jacky and co. Complicating. And with bf, i sense something is super wrong & i remembered clearly tht I didnt wanna face it. & 24 pts for prelims were super demoralising!

And if its not for real , then are u just sweet talking?

October, crazy month, Alan broke up with me, I took it as a retribution for screwing up his previous love. Now, I get the same old story. Stupidly , I took it too hard on myself. Then after packing up, it aint tht bad. With no time to lose, I am back on track after 2 weeks. Way behind of others. AND 26th of OCT, the horrific world war 3 started.

Am I thinking too much about the things between me and u?

November, Olvl period, Olvl ended on 11th november. I was alrdy half dead. Tonning every night to study! first time in my life! And with 5 friends, i first stepped into OR on 8th november. Then all 4 left shortly, I stayed for tht job for the rest of the month. & Thank God i didnt screwed up my prom preparation! & when my sales rocks my life rocks!

Its just the fake status tht bring you close to me, or isit ur heart?

December, Spend my days happily and laughingly with team excel, i could hardly remember anything stress or sad! But all so suddenly, after attaining my leadership, my sales sucked as so as my life. My parents bugged me to quit, it was a dilemma. So, the long time no see "tears", dripped in to the carpet of Excel's office. I left Excel unknowingly): And then back to enjoy my holidays with Awesome and Rockers. & Chalet was cool, and shopping and Christmas count down and visiting granny and time with family & currently, Im back stressing with the same old things without work! & Im still trying my best to make my parent happy with my holiday life... trying to get a job tht satisfy them not me!

Until now.. Im just quietly waiting for the arrival of


2010!


I hope it will be better! I SERIOUSLY HOPE SO! *keep my finger crossed.

heh heh. GOOD NIGHT DONKEYS :D

'And i hate how much i love you boy.. And hate how much i need you. Well i cant stay mad you... '
^ "Just lyrics" * roll eyes, SMILE :)