The tears today could never measure up to the tears throughout.

The tears today could never measure up to the tears throughout.
I appreciate the process then being crazy about how all this would end.

LOVE is like slippery fish, only 4 hands can hold and 20 fingers to grip onto.
If 2 hands were to let go, how long would you expect 2 hands keep holding on?
Our love slipped away, its all im goanna face in my most force-demanding days.

Should have known what would be the end when I looked into the history of you and ur previous. But Im stubborn and naive to believe tht Im going to be happy going to be love eternally.

No matter how hard my friends and loved ones persuade, I stood the same.
I should have listen to them. But you all should know, no matter how hard, i would not be the one to end this relationship. I swore it before.


Alan is a guy i knw last november through work. It all doesnt happen on the love at first sight. I just paid more and more attention to him after a few days we met. His broad arms was the first thing i came in contact with. He does have a nice pair of arms that i like clinging onto. He eyes were seriously flattering at first but it turn seriously cute after awhile. That the reason why I changed my view towards Jay Chou ? :) HAHA.

He had a puffy lips, so big and pretty tht I die die want to put it in my art work. And so, I eventually did it in my olvl coursework.

He is good at all kinds of activities just other then studies. A rebellious boy too.

He is pity, for fun or for real, non of his friends had an idea. Dont even need to mention me.

He is quiet, like my father. All his thoughts and feel, he tell no one. Seriously no one!
Thts why I never trusted any insults and comment on him from the people around us. I kept telling myself Alan is not tht kindda fellow.

He told me he wasnt, like this and tht. I paid a full attention to him and studied him like a book.
And you all knw, i suck at studies. I guess tht why, i couldnt open his mind or heart to knw what is he thinking or feeling?

I "copy" his style of talking, he didnt realise, he call it sweet but i called it cheap. However, through tht sweet and cheap talk, I manage to find a blurry deem of light. And who knws! I was good at sweet talks too! So talk talk talk, I somewhat talked back a second chance between us... second and final chance.

As the copying gets addicting, I copied almost his actions and everything. He stay quiet, I try my best to leave no comments. He is lazy to meet and msg, i'll keep myself busy with school. And when he lost his phone, i once dont bring my phone to school. He dont care, I dont care too. He believe is this and tht, I'll believe in this and tht. Now he believe tht feeling fade and its hard for it to return, I will force to forget everything and never let it recall.

Whatever i say, He will say "HANNOH". its sounds seriously satisfying okay!
A not so charming joke made him laugh, I laugh at his laugh. So good to hear him laugh like a girl.
Did I "por" (only talk good about) him? i really dont knw.

If, i knw all this would end like this, I would have been myself and not a imitation of him.

I knw non of his relationships lasted more then 3 months and with his "never gg to change-attitude". I knew tht it was about time for us.

Overall, he is hot and cold. He aint a bad guy but just not a loving one. I cannot deny tht I felt super terrible when i knw tht this love meant nothing much to him.

He wanted me to study, not knwing tht paying no attention to each other will result to a most common/stupid break up reason/excuse.

For the sake of my good, our love fate away.
Do i blame olvls? or should i blame tht we are too young to love?

But I believe we did loved? Do we? I have no more comment.
If his love for me is so limited, I wont blame him.

I have to be satisfied by now and I hope i will go back to school soon, as long as im done with this "tough emotional packing".

Its just interesting to talk about the past.
& after 11 months, i guess he can finally quit reading my blogs.

Our as long as possible, lasted 2 months 29days.

CIAO (: