Last Friday's photos.

Daddy's party super bored. Theresa and Boon just went home. Elieen still at my place. Chit chatted. Tmr school again, havent compete my english, bloody lazy to do so. art left one source do it tmr in class. Another tiring week hitting me, sigh.

thinking about it over and over again, considering all consequences and knowing all right and wrong, Im going on from where I am. No point and No use doing a Uturn for something tht aint there anm. I wanna hold alan like the way i used to, but with only one side of giving it isnt enough, I guess, he have no more feelings, no more regrets, no more missing, no more thinking, no more bothering, no more caring, no more giving and no more happiness WITH ME WITH ME. All i knw is tht, I dont love my current bf, when I ask myself why I will only turn my mind to Alan, is it because i havent let go? still in love with him, still caring for him every 2 days i call up boon or wenyi or desmond just to check out on him. I dont even knw why im doing all this. I guess, the rs between me and him were too prefect from the start, and even ended with many unanswered questions. But do i still like alan, OH YES I DO. But do i love him, I FUCKING DONT KNW. Im in the wrong to treat my bf like tht, he treat me nicely most of he time only grumbles over alan's matter. I dont wanna hurt him even i dont love him. I nvr ever put any hopes just to be with alan, i can only dream on. So why im suffocating myself so badly, I got work to do, but for the past one month im just not in the mood. I knw i have to work hard, but everything single thing in life is interrupting. I hope to be on my own, loving only myself. But i cant. neng bu neng ba wo de yuan wang huan gei wo?

CIAO. just what the hell im crazy over?

sleep early today.